Posted on07 October 2009. Tags: Jokes, music, poetry
- Kudzu is green, my dog’s name is Blue
And I’m so lucky to have a sweet thang like you.
- Yore hair is like cornsilk, a-flapping in the breeze.
Softer than Blue’s and without all them fleas.
- You move like the bass, which excite me in May.
You ain’t got no scales, but I luv you anyway.
- You’re as graceful as okry, jist a-dancin’ in the pan.
Yo’re as fragrant as SunDrop right out of the can.
- You have all yore teeth, for which I am proud;
I hold my head high when we’re in a crowd.
- On special occasions, when you shave yore armpits,
Well, I’m in hawg heaven, I’m plumb outta my wits.
- And speakin’ of wits, you’ve got plenty fer shore.
‘Cuz you married me back in ‘74.
- Still them fellers at work they all want to know,
What I did to deserve such a purty, young doe.
- Like a good roll of duct tape, yo’re there fer yore man,
To patch up life’s troubles and stick ‘em in the can.
- Yo’re as strong as a four-wheeler racin’ through the mud,
Yet fragile as that sanger named Naomi Judd.
- Yo’re as cute as a junebug a-buzzin’ overhead.
You ain’t mean like no far ant upon which I oft’ tread.
- Cut from the best pattern like a flannel shirt of plaid,
You sparked up my life like a Rattletrap shad.
- When you hold me real tight like a padded gunrack,
My life is complete; Ain’t nuttin’ I lack.
- Yore complexion, it’s perfection, like the best vinyl sidin’.
Despite all the years, yore age, it keeps hidin’.
- And when you get old like a ‘57 Chevy,
Won’t put you on blocks and let grass grow up heavy.
- Me ‘n’ you’s like a Moon Pie, with a RC cold drank,
We go together like a skunk goes with stank.
- Some men, they buy chocolate for Valentine’s Day;
They git it at Wal-Mart; It’s romantic that way.
- Some men git roses on that special day,
From the cooler at Kroger. ‘That’s impressive,’ I say.
- Some men buy fine diamonds from a flea market booth.
‘Diamonds are forever,’ they explain, suave and couth.
- But for this man, honey, these will not do.
For you are too special, you sweet thang you.
- I got you a gift, without taste nor odour,
Better than diamonds, it’s a new trollin’ motor.
